A Roller Coaster Week

The past 10 days have been amazing, thrilling and emotionally exhausting! 

Let me start by announcing that we have been matched....we have finally seen the face our sweet, precious daughter.  We know who she is, where she is and what she looks like.  And she is beautiful....absolutely breathtaking!  I will share more about her when we are able.  We are so in love with her already...that fast...as if she has always been with us. 

Now let me share with you our journey to her these past 10 days...

Friday, November 23rd: 
At approximately 3:10pm our social worker sent us an email letting us know that the upcoming Monday night would be the shared list update.  And that although she was on vacation she would be up late Monday night on the computer accessing the shared list and *hopefully* finding some matches.  She also attached the file of a little girl whom she had just recently seen show up on the shared list.  As soon as I saw her email on my phone I was also getting a text from Sean to ask if I had looked at the file.  I quickly called him and we almost immediately decided that we were both very drawn to this beautiful little girl and that we needed to move fast.  By 3:45pm I had emailed our social worker back to let her know that YES we were very interested in this little girl.  Then time began to stand still...it was now the end of the workday on a Friday AND our social worker was on vacation.  Our fears escalated as the hours and days went by, and all the while we kept staring at the picture of the little beauty....and we became more and more attached.

finally....Monday, November 26th: 
Of course, I was at an all day conference where I didn't have access to my phone at all times.  As soon as the lunch break started I check my phone and there was an email and a voicemail from our social worker.  She has checked the shared list and YES this little girl was still there.  I email her right away and asked her to please lock this child's file for us (locking a file means that our name is assigned to it and other agencies and families don't have access to it).  She got right back to me and said that she was on her way to an appointment but that she would take care of it as soon as she returns. 
At 4:15 we received an email from the social worker letting us know that unfortunately the child's file had been locked by another family.  We felt crushed, defeated and let down.  We were so close and then it all just slipped away.  We were sad, upset and angry.  But the day was far from done.  Remember, it was Monday....the once monthly shared list update was happening that night.  We got ourselves together and geared up for a long night of waiting by the phone and computer.  Finally, by midnight...after a very long and emotional day...it was clear to us that we weren't going to be matched.  Fatigue took over and I fell asleep in bed with my laptop and cell phone...and a very heavy heart. 

Wednesday, November 28th:
With my mind and heart still full for this sweet little girl, I email our social worker and let her know that if this particular little girl ever shows back up on the shared list she should lock the file immediately then notify us. 

Thursday, November 29th:
This was "re-release night"...72 hours after the Monday night shared list update all of the files that were locked on Monday night but then never followed through with by a family (for any various number of reasons) are returned to the shared list and available to all agencies again.  So it's like Monday night all over again...can my heart take this???   Of course, I was at work this day, keeping myself busy, trying hard not to think too much about what the night might bring.  Then, around 8:20pm I casually checked my phone (for about the 99th time that hour!!) and there it was...an email from our social worker with "locked a file for you" in the subject line!  I opened the email but needed to read it over and over to make sure I understood exactly what it said.  By now I am shaking, crying, and rejoicing all at once...it's real...it's really real, she came back and we got her.  I headed directly to my office where a few of my co-workers began crying with me.  We were hugging and passing her beautiful picture all around.  I got a text from Sean and I immediately called him...we were both calm and relieved.  This roller coaster is over, we have finally found our daughter.  We are blessed beyond words!

Next step:  Our formal application to adopt this child in particular has been submitted tonight (after a very extensive phone conference with an International Adoption Physician at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia this afternoon...but really...we were already in love with this child...nothing she could have said to us would have changed that!).  Now we are waiting for China to grant us Pre-Approval for this particular child.  We are hoping to have PA by the end of this week.  Then we can share more details about her with you.  Fingers crossed for a fast PA!

I want to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers and support thus far in our journey.  We are blessed to be surrounded by so much love and we are thankful.