unhooked and checked out

Audra came home from the hospital on Saturday.  She spent 2 days connected to the video EEG...which showed no seizures.

 This a good thing!

...but a little bit defeating too.

Of course, I did NOT want to find out that Audra was having seizures...

...but the very thought of finding something (seizures) that could be treated (with medication) which might result in her having significant gains in her speech and development was filling my heart with hope.

I need to stop putting all of my hope into something...thinking that it might be THE answer...which could lead us to solving the puzzle that Audra is, and knowing how to best help her.

Maybe I need to learn to be at peace with what is.

Or maybe not.

I feel it is my duty as her mother to never stop searching for the answer, any answer (no matter what it may be) that will lead to the best possible outcome for her.  She deserves that, at the very least.

The video EEG was abnormal though, and did show the same sharp waves that she had on her previous EEG.  What this means is a little unclear.  It makes the doctors think that either she is having seizures sometimes, or she is prone to have them at some point.  But we couldn't just sit there connected to the video EEG forever.

Keeping my very active, ever.so.curious 7 year old girl entertained within the confines of a hospital room while having her head wrapped and wearing a harness that is attached to about 20 feet of cord wasn't exactly easy.

But food always helps...

The neurologist who was on service while Audra was in the hospital was lovely...and she has essentially "hijacked" Audra's care.  We will follow up with her in a few weeks to determine what the next step is...further testing vs. a trial of seizure medication.