Day #3...hungry

The surgery itself went well...

Audra herself continues to amaze us...

But her body is taking the hard road to recovery.

Today the surgeon told us Audra's intestines need complete rest for a while.  Maybe two days, maybe five days, maybe more.  There's no way to predict how long.  It's all up to her little body.  For now...no more clamping the tube, it will stay to suction for the time being.  Which also means no eating...for a while!  So, tonight Audra was started on TPN (IV nutrition that contains fats, vitamins, minerals and calories)...which her tiny little body soooo needs right now.  Today is the 4th day that she has been without food.  She is becoming weaker.  When we take walks on the unit her feet shuffle a bit and her knees give out sometimes.  When I pick her up she sinks in and buries her head on my shoulder. 

I have been trying hard the last few days to keep Audra's mind off of food, and if you know her...you know that is nearly impossible!  However, there is only so much distraction one can do.  I am running out of tricks...fast!  Today, I finally had to tell her "Audra no eat".  And with that she stomped her sweet little feet on the ground and cried. 

So did I.

She continues the routine of making me show her what is in every bag and open every drawer, over and over and over.  She is desperate for food.  And I, as her mom, am desperate to feed her.  The fact that she spent 5 1/2 years in an orphanage, without an abundance of food, and suffered from malnutrition makes this whole situation harder to bear.  For both of us.  I am sure she wonders why mommy isn't feeding her.  And I pray that she isn't afraid..afraid of why this is happening and if/when she will ever eat again.  I can't explain this to her.  I can't reassure her that when her tummy is better she will get whatever she wants to eat.  I can't promise her ice cream when this is all done.  She just can't understand this.

My sweet girl is asleep right now.  And sleep is what I wish for her. 
When she sleeps...she's not hungry. 

Please say a prayer for Audra...that her hunger subsides during these next few days, and that her intestines begin to cooperate and function as they need to.